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Here are some tips on how to make your sex talk as helpful, productive and enjoyable as you can.

It removes performance anxiety, which is really distracting. And simply expressing them may be arousing enough.

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It might be awkward at first, but opening up about your needs and desires can transform your relationship. If you own your experience in this way, she says, it makes it harder to criticise the other person.

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How do you achieve this? Try to put yourself in their shoes, she says. S ex is a life-affirming act, one of the most intimate things you can do with another person.

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Always say something positive — something your partner has done that you like, say — before you say something bad, says the FPA this applies to non-sex conversations too. Is talking about sex ever a bad idea?

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It gives the other person useful feedback, as opposed to feeling nagged. For example, someone with low desire may have been harbouring 20 years of resentment about something else. This will help build trust and intimacy.

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So where do you start? Reuse this content. Sex and intimacy: a user's guide Sex. Hannah Booth.

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But talking about it? We are hardwired to think that our reality is the only one, and that other perspectives are wrong.

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Sharing our fantasies — whether we act on them or not — is an easy way to introduce novelty into our sex lives. Break the ice: watch an erotic film, have some wine — find something that gets the ball rolling.

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So much harder. People find it hard to share their sexual fantasies — in fact, only half of us have, says Lehmiller, who surveyed more than 4, people for his book, Tell Me What You Want.

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